Stupid Things I Shouldn't Have To Do And Why Am I Not Rich Yet

OK so here I was thinking my five books were online and I was pretty much OK with that. They were not on every single site but they were on enough of them, and since I'm kind of a lazy person by nature, "enough" is frequently enough for me.

But then a really stupid big book retailer (who I don't want to offend so I won't name but their book has a & in their name, so I'll just call them &) suddenly changed how they were doing paperbacks and the indie ones that had been done and floated over from Amazon suddenly were POOF gone, mine and everyone else's, and & said surprise now we do print on demand and we also demand you use our template not anyone else's and you need a new file and a new ISBN. For each book.

WHAT'S AN ISBN? THIS IS AN ISBN. 

So at first I cursed a little bit and then thought well OK whatever I guess I have to do this, but when I went onto their site and created a vendor account, things got wacko.

WACKO THING #1: They asked me to confirm that my book does not contain "anything that could be considered upsetting or controversial." Well I don't know what that means but I think it's a stupid question so I checked the box YES

WACKO THING #2: You have to pick one of two categories for your book to go in. Category one is: 18 and older only, contains adult themes. Category Two is: Appropriate for all ages. WHY IS THERE NOT A THIRD CATEGORY. Either choice is wrong. I start really actively hating & (even though let's be honest I could walk into any of their stores and drop $200 bucks no problem)

WHOA WACKO THING #3: Their website is next to impossible to use as far as uploading any book files. Amazon's is a little bit tricky but it's doable, especially if you're motivated. But this, &, this was really nuts. I considered the possibility that maybe I was just a moron, but then I went online and asked other authors who had tried to use the site and they said it was wacko also.

So I sought out alternatives, but I should add I also may opt for two other choices which are frequently available to everyone but sometimes we forget about them: 

a) I COULD BE LAZY AND DO NOTHING

b) I COULD DECIDE NOT TO DECIDE RIGHT NOW

c) OR....

So I may or may not have to redo all five files. If I were a millionaire I wouldn't have to deal with these problems. Maybe my only problem would be that Nicolas Cage keeps calling and calling. That would be a great problem to have.